10 Condescending Phrases Atheists Hear Spoken by the Religious: And 10 Witty Comebacks


condescending-phrases-by-the-religious

AND SOME WITTY COMEBACKS!

1- Tell them: “If only prayer was enough.” Let out a lengthy sigh for dramatic effect.

2- *Yawn* (Place your hand over your mouth for added effect) and then check watch. Even if you’re not wearing one, check anyway. The symbolic gesture will be much appreciated.

3- Reply in an overly serious tone: “Takes one to know one.”

4-  “What makes you think I don’t know the truth now?”

5- As soon as they finish being judgemental, replicate their tone and immediately respond: “You can’t have slarom without Dog.” If they give you a strange look, act normal. Everything is fine.

6- Ask: “How can something that doesn’t exist love me?”

7- Say: “The Devil is in the details.” Linger just long enough for them to think about it then slowly back away, without breaking eye contact.

8- Ask: “What fool first said there was?”

9- Tell them: “Puberty was a stage. Endless marathons of masturbating to porn in college was a stage. The thing with the midget and the amputee was a stage. This is nothing.”

10- Say: “Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, then shame on the Devil.” Eyeball them suspiciously till they become nervous or change the subject.

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2 comments

  1. It sounds like you have a lot of bitterness in your heart. Christians (most, at least) are not trying to make you feel judged or weirded out, they want to help you. Don’t you want there to be a bigger purpose to your life? What’s the good in shelling out combative rhetoric all day long? Who is that really helping?

    1. Sighs are less dismissive than yawns. But both are still (still!) less condescending than everyday religious insensitivity.

      Why are religious people so condescending to non-religious people? Are they embittered or something?

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