AND SOME WITTY COMEBACKS!
1- Tell them: “If only prayer was enough.” Let out a lengthy sigh for dramatic effect.
2- *Yawn* (Place your hand over your mouth for added effect) and then check watch. Even if you’re not wearing one, check anyway. The symbolic gesture will be much appreciated.
3- Reply in an overly serious tone: “Takes one to know one.”
4- “What makes you think I don’t know the truth now?”
5- As soon as they finish being judgemental, replicate their tone and immediately respond: “You can’t have slarom without Dog.” If they give you a strange look, act normal. Everything is fine.
6- Ask: “How can something that doesn’t exist love me?”
7- Say: “The Devil is in the details.” Linger just long enough for them to think about it then slowly back away, without breaking eye contact.
8- Ask: “What fool first said there was?”
9- Tell them: “Puberty was a stage. Endless marathons of masturbating to porn in college was a stage. The thing with the midget and the amputee was a stage. This is nothing.”
10- Say: “Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, then shame on the Devil.” Eyeball them suspiciously till they become nervous or change the subject.